Faith Renewed
Rating: R
Spoilers: Trust No 1
Category: MSR- Missing scene
Summary: What if they were reunited at the end of the episode?
Disclaimer: Not mine. 1013 own them.
Notes: Big thanks to xdks and Tali for betaing this baby.
***
Scully put the key in the ignition, started the engine and made a U turn, the wheels scratching the quarry’s soil. Once she had put some distance between herself and the quarry, she called Reyes telling her that she was going straight home. She wasn’t in the mood to talk or see anyone. The one she wanted to be with tonight wasn’t here. She desperately needed to see him, hold him tight, touch him, smell him, kiss him and feel that everything would be alright. This last thought broke the dam she had carefully built since she had forced Mulder to leave her and their son. Fat tears rolled down on her cheeks. It was so unfair. They had been separated for six long months and he hadn’t had the chance to see his son grow. She had known that it would be hard to stay separated and she had deluded herself by thinking she could bear it. When she had sent the email telling him to come back, she had been overjoyed and dared to make plans for their future. She dared to hope. She dared. Period. How foolish she felt now! As if life could become easy for them. As if things could ever change.
The reality was devastating. She didn’t know how she would go on; if she was still able to go through the motions of life without him. She was slowly sinking into depression. She wasn’t sleeping well. She wasn’t eating properly. She was only capable of taking care of their son. William was their miracle, the only link she had to Mulder.
After an hour or so of driving, she parked in her mother’s driveway, then killed the engine and exited the car. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Maggie was there to welcome her weary daughter with a fierce embrace. She didn’t say anything, understanding all too well how hard it was to raise a child by herself. Being a navy wife, she had to raise four kids without having her husband at home. Dana also had to endure other things that made her life so dangerous. Maggie understood why Mulder had to leave but it broke her heart to see her baby girl so sad.
“I take it that it didn’t work out as you were expecting?”
“There have been complications…”
“I’m so sorry Dana.”
A baby’s loud gurgle made them part. Scully went to her baby boy who was wide awake in his stroller. He smiled when he saw his mother and started to wave his arms and legs. She crouched before him and unhooked the straps, then held him tightly in her arms.
“Hey sweet baby. What are you doing up so late?”
“He didn’t want to settle in his crib so I brought him down here with me. Apart from that, he has been an angel.”
“You’re always an angel, sweet baby.” She kissed her son’s soft hair and started to dress him.
“Why don’t you stay here tonight?”
“I need to go home, Mom. I need to be alone.”
“I understand, Dana, but you know I’m here for you.”
“I know that Mom…but it’s Mulder I need tonight,” she said with a broken voice, holding her son tighter.
Maggie had prayed every day for Fox Mulder’s safe return. She knew there was danger surrounding them even though Dana had remained evasive on the subject. She was as supportive as she could be for her only remaining daughter and her beautiful grandson, but Dana had always been a private person, seldom sharing her intimate feelings with anyone. She wasn’t even sure whether she was more open with Mulder than she was with her family.
She kissed William on his forehead and the baby smiled at his grandmother. He was like sunshine, always warming the people around him. He was a very happy and calm baby, tonight more than usual, as if he sensed that his mother needed to be cheered up. Scully bid her mother goodbye and left.
Dana
Scully’s apartment –
Scully opened the door, juggling with her son, her keys and William’s diaper bag. She had asked the Gunmen to sweep her home for bugs and video cameras. They had done it thoroughly and assured her that everything was alright. She wouldn’t be observed tonight.
William wasn’t asleep and seemed a bit excited, moving his legs and arms restlessly.
“What’s going on, Will? What did you do with grandma to be so excited?”
The baby cooed and smiled at his mother, touching her cheek with his chubby little hand. Scully couldn’t help but smile. Her little boy was her universe. Bringing him into this world was the most important thing she had ever done. She could see a lot of Mulder in his features: his lips, his hair, which was starting to darken, his smile.
She craved Mulder so much. She wanted to show him how much their son had grown, but she had failed him and put them all in danger. Maybe they weren’t meant to be together ever again. The thought crushed her and tears began to form in her eyes. She held William tight against her, rocking him, trying to draw courage from her baby.
Once she felt a bit better she took Will into his bedroom. She took his coat off and kissed his little head softly. The baby gurgled again and smiled sweetly at his mother.
“You are a little charmer, baby boy. Just like your daddy.”
She put him down in his crib and Will instantly grabbed his foot and put it in his mouth. These days, his feet were his favourite toys. He was playing with them, babbling to them as if they were the most wonderful toys in the world. A baby’s life was so easy and Scully was glad that her son, at least, was as happy as he could be.
She turned the light down to a low setting so Will wouldn’t be totally in the dark and went to her bedroom, dragging her weary body to her personal sanctuary. She didn’t even switch on the light. The darkness suited her mood.
She pulled off her coat and started to remove her blouse when a voice that she had been so sure minutes ago she would never hear again, made her jump:
“Keep going, FBI woman.”
She felt as if she couldn’t breathe anymore. She blinked trying to establish whether she was having an hallucination, but he was here. Mulder was here. He was standing in her darkened bedroom, a few feet from her, and she couldn’t move. She was petrified. She hadn’t anticipated this move from Mulder but she should have. This man had been resourceful all his life and she should have known that he wouldn’t have journeyed so far to stop short of his goal: seeing Scully and their son.
He covered the few step separating them and engulfed her in his arms, holding her tight against his chest. They both began to sob, tears falling freely since they had separated months ago. There were no words to express their relief at being reunited and able to touch, to feel, to hold each other.
They separated so they could look at each other, tearful blue eyes meeting watery hazel. Time stopped. In slow motion, he cradled her cheeks and lowered his lips to hers. The first contact was intense, their hunger for each other blocking out all thought.
Her lips opened against his sweet and insistent prodding. Their tongues took turns at teasing, tracing the edges of their teeth, caressing and probing. Theirs hands weren’t idle either, his tunnelling in her silky red hair and hers caressing his back. Their bodies were vibrating from arousal and they couldn’t get enough of each other.
Their clothes were in the way but getting rid of the offending garments would mean separating and they weren’t ready for that yet, keeping their mouths connected, fighting the dizziness caused by lack of oxygen. The need to breathe forced them to cut their connection for seconds that seemed like hours. Their foreheads touched while they panted open-mouthed. Their hands linked and made conversation, and in this suspended moment in time their caresses became words.
She unclasped her hand from his and slowly divested him of his leather jacket, her mind registering that his clothes were hanging from his frame. He had lost weight, probably as much as she had. She raised her eyes to his and he shook his head saying “don’t worry.” She slid her hands under his heather grey tee-shirt and inflamed his soft skin with her caress. Desperately needing to be skin on skin with him, she tugged at the shirt and freed his chest to her hungry stare.
He took advantage of her distraction to get rid of her suit jacket and unbutton her white blouse to discover her swollen breasts pushing against the fabric of a lacy black bra. He moaned at the delicious sight and covered her breasts with his hands, stroking the tips through the cloth with his thumbs.
She arched her back to push her nipples further into his hands. In doing so, her hips encountered his arousal and they both groaned in unison. It had been too long, more than a year, since they last made love. The urge to merge was taking over and there would be no slow discoveries of their bodies, no exploratory kisses that lasted hours, no teasing caresses.
Their pants, socks and shoes were discarded in no time and he led her to the bed. They fell onto the comforter in a jumble of limbs. She opened her legs and cradled him between her thighs. They gazed tenderly at each other while he slid home slowly, enjoying every inch of her. Once there, he stopped, gathering his strength so that he didn’t come, right there and then, fully embedded in her. She soothingly caressed his back, trying to calm him down though she was anything but calm herself. She realised that they couldn’t hold on, not after so long apart, so she started to move. He took the hint and began to move in and out, each stroke hitting her cervix. She wrapped her legs around him, to feel every inch of him, and soon they came hard and fast together.
Once spent he tried to get off her so she wouldn’t be crushed, but she was having none of that, clutching him to make sure he wasn’t a dream, that he was here with her. For once, she wasn’t cold, she wasn’t in pain. She was feeling alive and she basked in her happiness, trying to not think about the fact that he’d have to leave her again, soon.
Dana
Scully’s apartment –
She awoke with a start, finding his side of the bed empty. She instantly thought that she had dreamt it all and an overwhelming pain encompassed her. Then she realised that she was naked and that she still felt the stickiness between her legs, testifying of their union. She hadn’t dreamt it but maybe he was already gone, trying to avoid the painful goodbyes.
She realised that William had been awfully quiet and got out of bed to check on him, grabbing her robe from the foot of the bed. She padded slowly to her son’s bedroom and was welcomed by the most beautiful sight: a bare-chested Mulder sitting in the rocking chair and softly talking to his son.
William’s eyes were wide-open and he was captivated by his father’s voice. It was as if the little boy knew who he was. He wasn’t easily enthralled by strangers and she had to admit that she had been afraid of his reaction to his father. The little boy was cooing happily and she remembered his behaviour when they had entered the apartment. It was as if he had felt his father’s presence in the house. Then she berated herself for her thoughts. How could a baby possibly feel that kind of thing? It was just wishful thinking on her part.
She stayed silent, watching father and son bond. William’s chubby little fingers were toying with his father’s chest hair while Mulder told his son how much he had missed him and his mother. Fat tears escaped and rolled down her cheeks. She had dreamt of their reunion so many times but seeing it was more powerful that any dream she’d had.
Mulder caught her gaze and smiled. The worry lines seemed to have vanished from his face in the few hours they had been together. He stood with the baby in his arms and went to her. William emitted a contented cry at seeing his mother and smiled widely when she opened her arms to welcome them into her embrace. They stayed that way for a long time, until they realised that the baby had fallen back to sleep. They carefully parted and Scully put Will back in his crib.
Mulder gave one last look at his son before steering Scully into the main bedroom. They undressed, went back to bed and lay down facing each other.
“You have to go soon,” she stated, trying to hide her pain.
“Yeah,” he whispered, “You know, if I could, I’d stay.”
“I know.”
“I’ve missed you both so much. I needed to come home tonight. Hoping to see you was all that kept me going when I was ready to stop fighting. You gave me my strength back tonight. Holding you and William has renewed my determination to build a future for us.”
“Hard as it is to let you go again, Mulder, I feel the same. I’ll fight for us every second of every day until we can be together again, until we can be safe.”
“I’ll be fine if you are… I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
They kissed tenderly, softly, trying to forget their time together was coming to an end and soon they would have to fight on their own. But they would cherish this interlude and keep it with their most treasured memories until their fate allowed them to be a real family.
Several hours later, Scully was awoken by the sunlight filtering through her curtains. The bed was empty except for some sunflowers seeds on Mulder’s pillow. She gathered the salty seeds and held them close to her heart, smiling. For once, she felt energized, ready to fight.
The end