Inside the Clone Factory

Inside the Clone Factory

Joann was disappointed. "Still not ready?"

"What can I say, the DD model is proving a little difficult."

Joann stared. Hard.

The salesman stammered. "They, err, just don't really meet people's expectations. They are, err, a little, err, shall we say independent."

"Shall we say independent? I'd say you'd better start defining your terms before I sue for damages, and emotional distress."

"Look, here's the report on the last batch, you can see for yourself."

#1 - reject - preferred playing basketball
#2 - failed - went swimming, even though the electronics weren't waterproof
#3 - returned - said he wanted to go home to his wife
#4 - reject - new owner claimed he was too ironic
#5 - ran away - said he'd decided to write poetry instead

She sighed, defeated. "Ok. I can see the problem. However..."

The salesman waved his hand. "I do have a whole batch of new Mulder clones. They do have a certain resemblance."

Hmmm, well, ok. Not the same. But better than nothing. Maybe. "Ok, what have you got?"

"There's a special offer on wimp boy." He pointed at the Mulder clone standing in the dark, whimpering in the corner.

"Hmmph. Call that a Mulder. You can keep it, what else?"

"There's a reduction on the used Torture models. This one's only slightly scarred."

"Look, if you haven't got anything useful, I'm calling my lawyers."

This concentrated the salesman's mind. "We've got a batch fresh in today, I've not looked them over, but maybe there's one that you'd fancy."

She checked the delivery note. APBs, the initials were enough to make her shiver. That couldn't mean, what she thought it meant, could it? She checked the key, APB = Angsty Profiler Boy. Oh. She tried not to admit her excitement, after all that might up the price.

"I'll take an APB."

The salesman leered knowingly. "I thought you might. Do you want it wrapped in Armani, or would you prefer it sweaty and in jogging gear?"

She couldn't decide, "the Armani, but I'd like the other...."

"I'll make sure the alternate outfit is packed."

"And a spare one." She paused, indignant at the salesman's raised eyebrow. "For a friend."

"Right."

"It's for LP, she's too shy to come here herself."

"Right."

"And my other friend, Anon, she needs one. She doesn't get out much. Discretion, you know."

"Right."

"And a spare."

"A spare?"

"Just in case something gets broken." After all, Joyce killed hers.

The Salesman grinned. "Another APB?"

She looked around the room and checked that no one could overhear. "What's that model Lydia uses?"

"ALB."

Hmmm, an Angsty Lover Boy. Could she risk it? Well, Heidi had been worrying over Scully recently and wasn't at all sure that they were just made for one another. Gizzie had her eye on the LGM Pal model. Circe had been preening her Slash Mulder.

Something jolted her from her daydream. Damn it. She was going to have to move fast, she could see the WUDEC convention committee arriving at the door. She quickly placed a bulk order for all the APBs in stock. After all, never knew when they might come in handy.

Yes, I've already admitted more than enough, I'm out of here!